A couple of links here:
Verbs to substitute forms of “to be” (am/is/are/was/were) (and other verb substitutes. I overuse “remain” and “prove.”)
Asking for a Grade Change
A general template for asking for a better grade:
Dear _____,
Thanks for your feedback on my paper. I am going over the comments you made, and I understand most of them, but may I meet with you briefly to clarify what I should do about x,y,z? My goal is to improve my writing for future assignments.
Thanks again!
_____
Why is this an effective strategy?
Key Components:
Contains a greeting. This signals that you respect the recipient of the letter. Sending letters that begin with “Hey” or simply begin with your request signal disrespect. Hint: It doesn’t matter if you respect the person are not—signaling respect is more likely to get you what you want.
Expresses appreciation. This signals that you understand grading is difficult and time-consuming work. It is one of the least favorite aspects of teaching for many professors and GEs.
Asks for clarification in order to improve you work. This signals that your main interest is to improve your work, not to have them go through the laborious process they already went through because you don’t like the grade you have. Graduate Assistants and professors genuinely want to feel useful. Helping someone improve feels useful; regrading work feels demeaning.
Addresses specific areas you are still confused about. This signals that you paid close attention to the comments and are working to understand how to put them into practice.
Contains a closing. This signals that you take your communication with this person seriously. Leaving your email without a closing is like hanging up on a person without saying goodbye. It can be entertaining in a movie but seldom works in personal relationships.
Outcomes:
Having the conversation will allow the Graduate Assistant or professor to take a second look at your paper—it is possible that your arguments are buried in the paper or become clearer as you have a chance to discuss it.
You might get an opportunity to re-write a section.
You might find, despite the fact that your grade remains the same, that you get an opportunity to show improvement on the next assignment. Graduate Assistants and professors love to see improvement.
To Avoid:
Asking for a grade change.
Unless the professor or Graduate Assistant clearly made an error in math or transcribing the grade to the grade book, you are likely to receive a defensive response.
Talking about how you usually receive a certain type of grade, or that you are an A-student.
This can be interpreted as a passive-aggressive statement. Everyone else graded you better, so there must be something wrong with the way the Graduate Assistant or professor is grading you.
This can signal entitlement. Avoiding giving off this impression will serve you now and in the long run.
Talking about how badly receiving a grade makes you feel.
If you can avoid it, it you may get better outcomes. It can signal that you believe the responsibility for your feelings is the Graduate Assistant’s or your professor’s.
Sending your initial email to someone other than the grader.
If you send a letter to the professor, they are likely to forward your concerns to the Graduate Assistant who graded your work. This is going to get you noticed, but it could create the impression that you feel entitled along the lines of, “I want to speak to the manager” or “Do you know who I am?”
Getting noticed and leveling up:
A surefire strategy to get noticed as a serious student is to revise your paper based on the comments you received regardless of a grade. There is nothing like responding to feedback by implementing changes to put you on a Graduate Assistant or Professor’s radar. Make the changes, send your new paper in, let them know you are not requesting a grade change but want to know how the revisions you made reflect your understanding.
Outcomes:
This allows you to practice what the Graduate Assistant or professor is trying to teach you
This allows your Graduate Assistant or Professor to feel as though their time making comments on your work was well spent.
This gives both you and your Graduate Assistant or professor the chance to review the changes you made and to look for areas where you can continue to grow or improve your work.
Similarities and Differences
Two or more things will have similarities and differences. There is no need to mention this.
Practical example: The twins, Eli and James, had similarities and differences. Eli ran fast; James ran slow.
Try: Eli ran faster than James.
Avoid Sarcasm in Formal Papers
Since you run the risk of being taken seriously, what you say could be construed as offensive. This is unlikely to move your argument forward.
Avoid Dehumanizing Language
Avoid using metaphors and similes that compare human beings—especially historically marginalized human beings—to animals and inanimate objects.
Aligning Arguments and Achieving Clarity by Reverse Outlining
After you have been through a draft or two, you should have several paragraphs to work with. As I tend to write while I think, my argument is seldom included at the top of the paragraph, so I have to find it. One method that I am using while revising my prospectus that has proven effective is the reverse outline.
Method:
1. Copy the first sentence of each paragraph and paste into a new document.
2. Now that you have the sentences in order, you can read them in order and reflect on how they might change.
Examples:
The following is an example of a paragraph I revised from my dissertation prospectus today:
Original:
Meanwhile, legal decisions such as Corrigan v. Buckley (1926) gave restrictive covenants the force of law, and Federal lending guidelines offered white citizens affordable rates and choices of places to settle, where people of color, and especially African Americans, could not get their loans guaranteed. Some white homebuyers seeking to borrow money to move into integrated neighborhoods had difficulties financing their loans. Further legal and social constraints in the form of discriminatory building and lending, fearmongering among real estate agents and associations, and racial violence also weighed in heavily on the contours of the urban landscape.
Revised:
Discriminatory building and lending, real estate’s institutional fearmongering, and racial violence weighed heavy on the urban landscape. Until 1948, legal decisions such as Corrigan v. Buckley (1926) had given restrictive covenants the force of law, and Federal lending guidelines offered white citizens attractive rates in addition to greater freedom in choosing where to settle. At the same time, people of color, African Americans especially, could not get their loans guaranteed. Even some white homebuyers seeking to move into integrated neighborhoods had difficulties financing their loans.
Spell Check Your Work
Always spell check your work. I am saying this to you as much as I am to myself. In fact, I probably have spelling errors because I haven't run a spellcheck on any of these blog entries.
Modern-day word processing software underlines spelling errors, so why run a separate spellcheck? In my experience, they don't catch everything, so inevitably your writing will contain spelling errors.
Despite the fact that you have spent untold hours crafting your best work, even the most forgiving readers will become exasperated with spelling errors and may begin to unfairly associate your spelling issues with ingrained character flaws.
Avoid Forward Slashes /
The forward slash often indicates that you may need to make a decision between this or that. I recommend choosing one or the other and eliminating the forward slash. You may worry that this won't allow you to communicate your ideas fully, but your reader will appreciate your decisiveness. Slashes, especially when used repeatedly, can be distracting and/or confusing.
Plural or Singular Possessive Nouns
Examples:
The students argued against more homework.
This means more than one student argued against more homework.
The student's arguments for a higher grade proved effective.
This means one student argued successfully for a higher grade.
The students' backpacks were equipped with books, paper, and writing utensils.
This means more than one student had a backpack, and that each backpack had books, paper, and writing utensils in it.
Possessives when the name ends in the letter "s."
A general rule is to spell it as you would pronounce it.
Examples:
Sarah's books.
One person named Sarah had some books.
Socrates' books.
One person named Socrates had some books.
The Lucas's car.
This likely refers to more than one person with the last name Lucas who jointly own a car.
IDs
Identifying historical terms, dates, and people is a common requirement of midterm and final exams in history courses. Always carefully follow the instructions of your professor, but the following components may be useful to produce a successful ID. First, think of the "wh" questions: what, who, where, how, when, and why. These questions can be divided into three groups, weighted equally in terms of their importance:
Group 1: What, who, where, how (The Basics)
- In this group, you write a few sentences describing the basics. This is the sort of information you might find on Wikipedia. For example:
- African American abolitionist Solomon Northup was born free in New York in 1807 or 1808. He remains most well-known for his kidnapping and escape from a twelve-year enslavement in Louisiana and a film posthumously titled after his autobiography, Twelve Years a Slave.
Warning! Many students stop here and go no further in their analysis. Make sure to address the historical context as well as the significance of this term, event, or person.
Group 2: When (Historical Context)
Historical context is important. Think about what was going on at the time to help ground the reader. Make your context as relevant to your discussion as possible. For example:
The British and American governments banned the international trade in enslaved human beings, coinciding with Northup's birth. This immediately caused a spike in the volume and cost of the domestic trade in enslaved human beings. A rise in cotton production also increased the desire for more, not fewer enslaved people. These events combined to make the condition of African Americans, both enslaved and free, that much more perilous.
Group 3: Why (Who Cares? Why is this Significant?)
This is your opportunity to show that you have thought through why this term, event, or person is important. Often the significance of the ID is clear. Sometimes, you can use your own interpretation.
Some questions to ask yourself based on the 5 C's of History: How does this demonstrate change over time? Alternatively, how does this demonstrate continuity over time? What did this thing cause? How does this thing complicate our understanding both then and now? Your professors will often have a specific idea they are looking for, but this is also an opportunity for you to exercise some creativity as this is your understanding of the term and your interpretation; there is space for both. Following is are a few ideas I have about how Northup complicates our understanding of the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act. This probably needs some revision, but you get the idea:
Northup's account complicates our understanding of the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act, passed nine years after Solomon's kidnapping. This means that by the time Northup regained his freedom, he inhabited a world in which his felon captors--who were known but never pursued by authorities--were in a position to return to work--legitimated by the state--of capturing African Americans from the North and bringing them to enslavers in the South. His history also highlights the fact that there were more than one Fugitive Slave Act (1793). This may have emboldened Northup’s captors as well and allowed them to act with impunity. Northup's kidnapping illuminates the highly tenuous state of freedom for all African Americans--especialy those who were not as well connected--in the North.
"America" versus "United States"
Avoid the use of "America" as a substitute for "United States."
Specificity strengthens your writing. In this case, it also conveys understanding and might signal a modicum of humility.
Here is my personal story with learning the difference. Early during a study abroad experience in Oviedo, Spain, I reflexively answered the question, "De dónde eres? (Where are you from?) with, "Soy Americano." I was quickly teased and asked if I was Canadian, Argentinian.. they claimed they couldn't place my accent in "America." After a brief lecture on meaning of “America,” I learned the term "Estadounidense." It sounds like "United Statesian" in my mind and has provided me an excellent reminder to use “United States.”
"Said" is a Dialogue Tag, not a Substitute for "The"
“Said drama played out exactly as anticipated.”
When when I come across it, I advise students to avoid it. It doesn’t interfere with the reader’s understanding, so I don’t grade down on a rubric for writing conventions; however, I dislike it.
Voice Creep
Make sure it is clear when you, the author, are speaking. Differentiate your voice from the voice of your subjects. When you are clear about who is talking, it keeps your reader focused and free from confusion. This also helps you avoid the trap of making it seem like you are taking on the language, tone, and opinions of your historical subjects. You can use direct quotations or reported speech to accomplish this.
Structuring a Paragraph
Not everyone will agree with me, but for undergraduate papers, I am fine with a simple format for paragraphs. If you can accomplish this, you will have produced a fairly robust paragraph:
Argument
Evidence (in the form of examples)
Analysis
Significance
1. Argument
Instructors will often ask for a “topic sentence” that tells the reader what to expect in the paragraph. In my view, this sentence works best as a sub-argument of the thesis statement.
2. Evidence
If you argue a point, support it with evidence. In historical writing, this comes in the form of primary and secondary sources. Most secondary sources you can paraphrase. Often, writers will quote the primary sources. Use quotations sparingly - if it is over two lines, your reader is likely to skip over it. If you can say it yourself in better words, then paraphrase it.
3. Analysis
Quotations do not speak for themselves. You must do the work of interpreting the evidence for your reader. What does it mean? The reader wants your interpretation, not (for now) to slog through the primary sources.
4. Significance
Why is your argument, evidence, and analysis important? Someone told me--and I don't remember which colleague or professor this was (sorry!)--that they ask students, "What if someone told you this wasn't important? How would you argue this to them?" I have always appreciated that mental trick.
Why to avoid using "you," "we," and "our" in academic writing.
Think about who you might be including and excluding from statements such as:
1a. "As children, we are raised/taught to believe..."
2a. "Our history is littered with..."
3a. "If you subscribe to x theory, you have to agree that..."
1b. All children were not raised to believe the same things, neither about themselves, nor the world. Think about which children you are discussing and name them as specifically as possible.
2b. Whose history are you discussing in your writing? The histories of indigenous people in the United States are far different from immigrant histories or histories of enslavement. Each deserves its own attention. The more specific you are, the easier you can avoid falling into traps of including or excluding people who should be considered in your writing.
2c. In general, avoid making assumptions about your audience's identity or opinions. Your goal is to state your arguments and support them with evidence that you analyze.
…
The more specific you can be, the better. “Women,” “men,” and “people,” for example, tend to be weak descriptors, as in the following example that leaves open the interpretation that Senator McConnell does not consider African Americans true Americans: “The concern is misplaced, because if you look at the statistics, African American voters are voting in just as high a percentage as Americans.” - Mitch McConnell